Different War, Same Battle.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. It is still easy to step back and Monday morning quarterback. We often take for granted in our judgment of the past that we may find ourselves in the position actually to do what we said we would have done.

One of the many scars on our nation’s history is our treatment of the Vietnam Veteran. They were blamed for a war that we shouldn’t have been in, in a country, no one knew about, at a period when we were trying to get our own house in order. It was the first time that war was viewed at the dinner table, and our nation’s apathy for it quickly grew as the nightly death toll turned our stomach sour.

Then we did what no nation should; we turned on our protectors. In airports all across America, we spit on the men who did what they felt was the honorable thing to do; they answered their country’s call. They didn’t burn their draft card. They didn’t run to Canada, they stepped up and served, and the vast majority of them served honorably.

The repercussions of that were far-reaching and are still having significant effects on our Vietnam Veterans today. In our effort to do the right thing, we hurt the wrong people. Many (despite attempts to right those past wrongs) still do not feel appreciated by this nation.

Looking around today, I see history repeating itself, but on a different battlefield. Police officers are being attacked as a whole, and things are being done that I am sure society will look back on one day and say we took it to far. The cry that “All Cops are Bastards” is being spray-painted on walls. We are removing cartoons because a puppy dog wears a police uniform, and calls to defund the police are gaining steam.

This is not the way to solve a genuine problem.

There can be no doubt that police reform is needed in America, but making it a war on the police will see the same outcome that the war on drugs did.

It will fail.

Wars don’t drive collaboration; they create enemies. Every day someone has to win, and someone has to lose. Both parties can’t gain ground at the same time, and there is no way to move a nation forward.

The reality is that the majority of our police force are great men and women trying to do a difficult and important job. Please make no mistake about it; society needs the police force, we know this on the most basic level. Hell, the first thing they did in the Seattle autonomous zone was to begin patrolling their newly claimed streets. Let that sink in for a minute.

When you start taking cartoons off of tv for wearing a uniform, you’re starting to react emotionally, not logically, and nothing good comes from that. Instead of attacking the individuals who have committed no crimes, let’s work on the institution that needs an overhaul. Instead of driving the good ones out because we treat them as evil, let’s ensure that we show our support for their actions. Reward those good officers so that they can restore public respect and trust as we work together for reform in our nation.

For those who abuse their power, harm those in custody, or take another’s life needlessly, may the justice be swift and absolute.
But, the mark of just and civil society is that we use reason and logic to move us forward. We attack the problem at hand, not a cartoon that demonstrates the good we wish to see.

Black Lives, Blue Lives, All Lives.

If there is one counter-argument to the Black Lives Matter movement that makes no sense to me, it’s the strong desire to rebut with All Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter. Often, they are used interchangeably, so let’s start there.

If your notion is that All Lives matter negates the Black Lives Matter movement than by logic and reason, All Lives matter renders your counter-argument that Blue Lives matter invalid as well. Those that know me know that I value consistency above all things. To have integrity, you must be consistent regardless of if it benefits you. You very well can’t say that Black Lives Matter is racist, insensitive, and cruel, only to turn around yourself and use it for a group you are trying to support.

If you are doing that, you should stop.

For those who don’t say Blue Lives Matter and focus only on All Lives Matter, I give you points for consistency (those are important points to have btw) but still find your argument lacking.

Often our most significant challenge to understanding is reading the message we infer vs. asking for clarity. Assuming, as you know, makes an ass of “u” and me.

Black Lives Matter doesn’t say that ONLY Black Lives Matter. It merely states that they do. Common sense should stand to reason that it is a valid and sound statement. It is a fact, and facts are stubborn things.

When we look at this in other aspects, we would never apply this same logic.

When a parent calls their child special, or smart, or their world, I don’t infer that they think my child is ordinary, dumb, or unimportant. I don’t assume that they wish my child would die. I understand that they have the same parental love for their kid as I do River and Willow. To me, this is just common sense.

For those that are of the Chrisitan, belief let me leave you with Luke 15, Where Jesus tells the parable of the 100 sheep.

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost until he finds it?”

Jesus didn’t say the 99 sheep should ask, “What about us? Don’t we matter?” No, he said to leave the 99 to save the 1.

Yes, all lives do matter. But now, at this moment, we need to focus on addressing the issues of one group who’ve been crying out for justice since our inception.
If we do that, we can finally arrive at the dream that is America.


Things change. So should you.

To understand why I am so calm now you’d have to have known me when I was younger.

I get a decent amount of flack for never really wanting to go out anymore.I no longer really live up to the name “Mayhem.” To be honest, I am cool with that. I got too much to lose.

I think as you age you learn that the vast majority of people in your life are just there for the noise. It doesn’t make em bad. We all cross paths at different phase lines in our lives.

But you fool yourself if you think the majority of the folks in your 20’s are gonna occupy a lot of your time in your 30’s and 40’s. Either you or them are gonna grow up. When that happens priorities change.

Love, despite what they sell you in movies is a finite resource. Relationships take work. So if you want to be a good spouse and parent, you only got a little time left to spread amongst your circle. That circle better has a shared vision for the future or conflict is coming, and your life is gonna get messy.

That “man” I used to be would have been a shit husband and a bad dad. You can’t serve two masters. So choose wisely. My suggestion is to make your circle small AF and put your family in the middle. Anything or anyone that doesn’t support that has got to go.


Stand where you stand.

Love me.
Hate me.
I don’t really care.

All I can ask of any man is to be consistent with what he states he values.

If the 2nd Amendment is the second for a reason than the 1st is also first, for a reason.
If not all cops are bad and we shouldn’t judge them as so, then all protesters aren’t bad and we shouldn’t treat them as so.
If lockdown was wrong for COVID then wishing for Martial Law now is wrong.

This goes both ways.

I will stand up for all of our rights, for every man.
I will support good cops and peaceful protestors. I will denounce and condemn bad cops and rioters and looters.
I will be against the lockdown of Americans out of fear regardless of what it is.

What I stand for isn’t for a particular party.
What I believe isn’t contingent on your approval or what is popular.
My values remain the same, regardless of the tide of public opinion.

I am asking you to do the same.
If so, even if we disagree, I salute the courage it takes to make that stand.
That courage is what makes America great.

The Perfect Strom

If you look around surprised at what is going on, you simply have never stopped and looked around before. The plain and simple truth is this is the hurricane we knew could happen but spent years with our head in the sands pretending that it wouldn’t.

For every action, there come secondary and tertiary effects. The discontent with police brutality has always been there, simmering just below the surface. The COVID pandemic has left thousands without a job and without pay, but with plenty of free time on their hands. The killing of Geroge Floyd provided a catalyst to take to the streets. Enter organizations like ANTIFA and the KKK to provide the “push” to light the fuse, coupled with a break in the weather, and anyone who served in Iraq or Afghanistan will tell you we’ve seen this before.

It’s killing season.

Young people with a bleak outlook on the future and a cause bigger than themselves to fight for are easily moved to movement, and many times that movement can turn violent. It is also easily preyed upon by parasites that care little for the actual cause. Again, we saw this extensively in the Middle East. Men, who were the very face of evil incarnate radicalized a religion and used it to justify the murder of innocents.

These riots are no different. These “professional” rioters come in from all across America (much like foreign fighters entered Iraq) to use this movement to further our divide. Please make no mistake about it, many of those who are looting, burning business to the ground, and destroying our national monuments are not the protesters.

They are radicals.

They are the ones who want to see us fall, who want to see us hate each other, and we are buying into it hook, line, and sinker.

They are winning, and it’s up to us to remove the blinders from our eyes and stop it.

It’s personal and it’s tribal.

What I am about to write will be long, but perhaps it will challenge some of our notions on racism. Perhaps not. But, at least for those of you wondering why I see it the way I do I’ll share my reasoning.

I grew up in a very racist house. The “N” word was used freely. Growing up in a small rural town you can bet my house wasn’t the only place that I heard it. Interracial dating was frowned upon and one of the prettiest girls in our school took shit for dating a Black student. In my own house, I took flack because one of my best friends growing up was a Jamaican boy that lived down the street from me. When I came back from the Army, I was giving one of my brothers a ride home when he started dropping the “N” word while talking about people on the street. I pulled over and told him that if he wanted to continue to ride with me he wouldn’t say it again. I had met better men than him in the Army and I wouldn’t stand for it. Racism is a learned thing, but for some reason, the lesson never stuck with me. Honestly, I am not sure why.

I often hear people say in response to calls to address racism, “I didn’t own no slaves.” I understand their frustration because in their hearts they feel they are being attacked for a wrong they didn’t commit. It seems unfair, and in their eyes, they see us all as equal. So, they ask, “Why can’t we just move on?”

The easiest way I have found to explain it is to ask them if they had any family that served in World War II or Vietnam? Often the answer is yes.
I then ask them are you proud of them?
To which they respond with a full chest, and wide eyes, Yes!!

From there they will often, even without prompt, begin to exalt the bravery of their forefathers. They illustrate clearly that World War II or Vietnam isn’t a lesson in a history book for them, it was Grandpa Jim who valiantly fought for his country in Bastogne or La Drang.

Well during that same time Blacks were banned from sharing the same water fountain or going to the same school. Blacks fighting communism overseas were fighting for their own freedom back here at home. Lynchings were taking place in the deep south and segregation and sundown towns were laying the foundation for the inner cities and the poverty that many are living in today.

You see, the struggle of the African American isn’t a statistic to those who are here today. It’s grandma Shirly sitting at the dinner table recounting the hell she went through with her progeny. When they read their history, they see her face.
It’s personal.

The last facet that plays a major role in this is the basic truth that we fail to understand. Humans are tribal creatures and when African- Americans see another young Black man killed with wanton disregard for his humanity, that creates a visceral reaction, and it should.

Furthermore, we should understand it.

When our country was attacked on 9-11 the lines to join the military to “go get them bastards” was out the door. We didn’t give a shit about all the civilians’ shock and awe killed. We didn’t care about collateral damage. All we cared about, was avenging our fallen.

While there is no doubt that George Floyd’s death wasn’t the loss of life equal to the 3,000 killed on 9-11, his death was but the latest in a long history of failure by our police departments, and our country, to address the wrongdoings that are still taking place today.

That is why people are angry.
That is why this powder keg is exploding.

The answer isn’t to try to justify why you aren’t wrong personally.
The answer is to personally do what you can to right the wrongs.

I Can’t Breathe.

We need to do better.
The fact that police aren’t required to become proficient in self-defense is a major part of the problem.

Some of this stems from simply not knowing the proper way to control people.

I remember back when I was in the army we trained for riot control, and I reached around a guy’s neck, put him in a guillotine, and lifted him up off the ground with it while he was pinned down. I wasn’t trying to hurt him I was just trying to be aggressive. I thought I’d make “Top” proud.

Instead “top” jumped in my ass with both feet because what I did could have permanently hurt him. But at the time I didn’t know any better. Someone taught me and I learned.

The other is “us vs. them.”

No, all cops aren’t bad, I know some great ones, but as a whole they don’t police their own.

Three other cops stood by and watched it happen.
That was their moment to be a hero and they let us all down.

I always took shit for not being angry at Kapernick because I took the time to go beyond the rhetoric and actually listen to what he was protesting. Shit like this happens all the time but largely goes unnoticed because it’s not caught on camera.

All cops aren’t bad is hollow justification for the families of the murdered.

I don’t hate the police.
I want to be part of the solution.

Any cop that wants to train in BJJ your first 3 months are on me. You just have to buy your Gi.

I know that if you are trained you will not do things like this. I know you will be more comfortable on the street. I know this because every cop who’s trained has said it.

Let’s do better together.

There’s no justification for quitting.

Giving up on their dreams all because of a temporary set back.

“My spouse broke my heart.”
“My parents don’t love me.”
“I lost my job.”
“Fried chicken is delicious.”

The list goes on and on.
The problem is the list is all bull shit.

In this photo you can see I am getting my ass kicked. This was literally 10 seconds into the fight.
Dude picked me up, dropped me on my head, and started choking the shit out of me.

My world started to fade to Black.
But, I remembered what I told Master Mike.
“I will not embarrass you.”

It was a promise that I made to a man I admired. So no matter what was happening to me I refused to quit.
Did the same thing for the rear-naked choke that followed.
Applied it again when I was in full mount getting my face punched in.
Did one more time when he had locked up an armbar.

I kept doing it until I broke him.

Not quitting that night opened every door for me that followed.

Had I quit in that cage, there’d be no Soldierfit today.

And therein lies the problem.
You never know what quitting will cost you in the long run.

You can fail all you want and still become successful.
If you quit however, your dreams are lost.

Don’t eat the rich

This will upset some people but I believe it to my core.
If you’d stop worrying so much about what rich are doing, and focused entirely on what you could and should be doing to get there (if that’s where you want to go) then you could join them.
I ain’t rich, but I ain’t hurting either. I am not consumed by money, nor am I worried about what people who have more of it than me are doing with theirs.
We get up early, we bust our ass, and every day we make a smarter decision than I did in the past. That’s how the dream works guys. If you want to buy the bull shit excuses that the rich are holding you down feel free to do so, just stop trying to sell it to us.
At the end of the day, this guy who used to eat of trashcans had a 400 credit score, who’s got car got repossessed, is now setting over here damn near debt-free outside of our house.
We didn’t get to this point by bitching about rich folks. We worked our ass off, didn’t go vacations we couldn’t afford, missed out on some parties, went to bed at 830 pm, got up at 4am, and took every extra dollar we made to pay the debt off.
We ain’t where we want to be, but we know we’re gonna get there.
If that’s not where you are my suggestion is that you stop blaming other people or the system for your lot in life and take responsibility for your actions.
You’ll be amazed at how freeing it is when you decide to be in charge for a change.

We are called a melting pot for a reason.

Let me begin by saying that I do not believe that overt racism is the norm in America. I do think that the majority of our fellow citizens embrace, and even love the fact that our country is a hodgepodge of customs and cultures. With that said, I’d be dishonest to say the least, if I tried to pretend that racism doesn’t exist, and in some ways, I believe it exists in it’s worst form–unrealized.

While watching the Superbowl last night, I knew that social media was about to light on fire with after the half-time show. If nothing else, it goes to prove that nothing you do can make everyone happy. Half of my feed was saying, “It’s the greatest show ever!” Meanwhile, the other half hated it because two sexy ass middle age ladies were shaking what their momma gave them, all while still being a momma.

While that was par for the course, and to be expected, I sadly knew to expect something else as well. The beating of the “just speak English” war drum. I am often amazed that this is taken to the level that it invariably is. I mean, ask any Brit, they are still waiting for us to speak English. With that said, though, google is free as shit, and all it takes is a quick scan to learn that America has no official language. The best you can do is get one at the state level.

Furthermore, I’d argue that our dialect is so vast and far-reaching that it could be argued that none of us are speaking English. You ever been part of a conversation between a guy from the deep South and a dude from Boston? Shit sounds like dueling banjos trying to get the Cah Keys out of their Kaki’s pocket.

Let me leave you with this. If you were upset about a mom wearing the Purto Rican flag on one side (it’s a territory you know) and American flag on the other while singing “Born in the USA” with her daughter, then it wasn’t the taking a knee that you were mad about last year.