Are you thinking of walking out on your kids?
As crazy as it may sound coming from me, someone who adores his children, I get it. As much as I could never do it, especially after it was done to me, I logically understand why some men do.
Scared of what it will cost you.
Scared that you don’t know what to do or how to be one.
Scared that staying might be worse for them than leaving.
Scared that you and the mom aren’t the right fit. Scared you are not a good role model.
Scared that you are a loser and it might be contagious.
Scared of the weight of that responsibility.
At the end of the day, you’re just a scared kid. You played a man’s game and now you’re left holding the dice and she’s holding two pink lines. It’s fight or flight time and right now flying seems like the best option on Earth.
Before you spread your wings I just want you to know none of us are prepared for it, not really. None of us know all the answers. They don’t come with an instruction manual. We will never have enough money saved. It will never be the “right time.”
It’ll simply be time.
At that moment you have to make the most monumental decision of your life. To stay or to go.
What I can promise is this. If you go you will irrevocably scar at least two lives, yours and theirs.
For them, you will teach them far too soon that people are going to let them down. You will create a vast void in them, one they will have a hard time articulating, that makes them feel inferior. Worst of all you will crush the thing most important to herd creatures. You will make them feel unloved and unwanted. I can tell you from personal experience it will take them a lifetime to get over that, and it can only happen then if they are lucky enough to find a new family.
For you, whether you know it or not, it will steal from you the greatest accomplishment you could ever achieve. The unconditional love of someone who looks up to and depends on you.
To earn the title, “daddy.”
Like I said above, I get it. You’re a scared kid.
But, please listen to me.
A man can never be brave until he’s faced fear. A father can never be a daddy unless he decides to stay.
Be a daddy.