The Red in your ledger.

I wonder as you read this do you feel the weight of your past? Do you feel all the wrongs you’ve committed?

All of the mistakes.

All of the people you’ve hurt or let down.

The times you faltered.

The times you failed.

I wonder, do you feel as I have, that your past robs your future because it was too bad to warrant any good in your life? As Black Widow said, “I have a lot of red in my ledger.”

The sad thing is that we condemn ourselves to remaining forever in our own way. Shackled to our sins. Unable to accept redemption because we really don’t feel like we can “wipe it clean.” We look to the past as precept to all the potential that we will ever have. As if yesterday is somehow irrevocably locked into tomorow so that time no longer bends to the whims of today.

We plod along, filled with condemnation for ourselves, as if we are the only ones who ever fell short of our ideals. Trust me, you are not alone in your shortcomings. We all stand in that line.

Ideals are by defintion something we seek to aspire to but are never attained. None of us are perfect after all. But when failure to reach our aspirations leaves you filled with desperation we have to ask, “Should you reset your compass?”

You can’t start where you wish you were. You must start where you are; here today. With all your past mistakes and misdeeds. Know that all it makes you is human, but what a powerful thing to be.

You remain the physical manifestation of potential. Just like the earth from which you came, no matter your current state, you remain maliable–able to be reshaped with the hammer of discpline. No matter how many times you are broken down, you can always be rebuilt anew. The only thing holding you back is living in yesterday.

As V said, “The past can’t hurt you anymore. Not unless you let it.”

It’s time you stopped.

#Justtheramblingsofanolinfantryman