I recently stumbled across a post on Facebook geared towards women and the table of friends they often find themselves sitting at. One that makes them the point of conversation when they walk away, and not in a flattering manner. While this particular piece was geared towards women and gossip, I felt it fell short in explaining how you arrive at that table in the first place.
There is a Bible verse that talks about change that serves to remind us that everything has its own place and time. The problem is that we keep dressing as if it were last season.
As I turn 40 next month I have seen that changing tide quite a bit in my life. I have learned, often the hard way, that people I thought were “ride or die” were simply tagging along to their exit. And guess what? That’s ok. Matter of fact, for the most part, that’s appropriate.
After all, we are all growing.
I mean, let’s take a step back and look at yourself. Are you still running with the people who used to occupy a lot of your time? For the most part, I hope the answer is no. Sometimes you outgrow them and sometimes they outgrow you. In running this marathon we call life none of us run at the same pace.
Evolution is a natural part of life – if you are living correctly. At 40 years old, if you’re still going to the club every weekend, more power to you, but I personally think you’re missing the point. Somewhere along the line growing up means moving on to bigger and better goals. It means striving for more than just instant gratification. It’s about chasing big dreams and being the hero to your tribe–spouse, children, and a close circle of friends. All of that takes time and patience.
That is where everyone finds themselves in a bind. They keep trying to be there for everyone. From this season to last.
You must learn that every acquaintance ain’t your friend and every friend ain’t your family. What’s more, that doesn’t make them bad or an enemy. It makes them human with a limited capacity to care– just like you.
Once you come to terms with this you’ll stop getting your feelings hurt when someone at your table says, “Check, please.”
More importantly, you’ll be okay asking for it yourself.