It’s One AM

Its one am in the morning and you’re wide-awake, you toss and you turn unable to fall asleep. Your mind is racing, no matter which way you lay it won’t settle down.  It happens to us all from time to time, and some of us more so than others.  It’s not important that you’re up, what’s important is WHY you’re up, and the answer is either your nightmare or your dreams.

We are always hoping to not be woken in a cold sweat from a nightmare that was so vivid you’re sure it was real. At the same time we are always looking for an explanation, and interpretation of the dream we had last night. Everyone thinks that nightmares and dreams only happen when you’re asleep.  The truth is they are more important when they keep you awake.

So with that in mind let’s take a step into your bedroom.  It’s One AM, the TV has been off for hours, you’ve tried everything you know to invite sleep to come. Still, you’re awake, staring at a ceiling you can’t even see.  Your mind is scattered, images and Ideas run through your mind at a blistering pace. What is fueling their blitzkrieg?

Is your mind filled with everything that is wrong with your life? Is it filled with the contempt that comes from living someone else’s dream? Does your stomach toss and turn, finding itself twisted in knots over the notion of the alarm clock ringing its death bell? Does the repetitive buzzer fill you with dread knowing that it’s calling you to rise in disgust and move to take your place in a chain gang of cubicles filled with people who hold a job that they despise more than any of you could have possibly imagined? Does that guilt of knowing you settled for a life that was never in the plans of a child filled with hope leave you feeling hollow and unsettled? Does your nightmare start when you wake up?

Or do you find yourself laying in bed EXCITED, new ideas rushing through your mind so fast and so vivid that you just HAVE to get up and write them down now before the flood of visions is so fast, the current so strong that you are worried some will simply be swept off to see if they are not recorded right now?! Do you find yourself pissed because you can’t call anyone to go over the next amazing idea that has planted its seed in your heart? Do you find yourself waiting in eager anticipation for the joyous sound of the alarm clock whose beep beats second only to the pace of your own heart? Do you rise from bed in almost a sprint ready to face a day filled with others like you; movers, shakers, the builders of dreams?  Do you rush into your chosen profession, take up the yolk of those dreams, and pull it forward with an unbridled intensity that inspires those around you take up their yolk and pull as hard as you are?  Does your day end with the satisfaction of progress that moved you and your dream sharers forward?  Does your dream start when you wake up?

You can come up with a million reasons why you live your nightmare; they will all be easily justified by you. People will nod their head in agreement and say; “Oh yes, your boss sucks.”, or “You had a hard lot in life.”, or some other BS. At the end of the day, it all amounts to the same monotone language that Charlie Brown’s teacher used to utter to him. It’s all just “blah, blah… blah”!

Yes, I am sitting here admitting that you can find justification for you living a nightmare, but regardless of what you sell the world, you can never really kid yourself. You will always know the truth. It will always be clear to you deep down inside that all the reasons you quit on your dream would have all fallen to the side if you would have focused on just one reason to chase it.

Yes it’s One AM and your still awake, is it because of your nightmare? Or is it because of your dreams? Only you can decide which one you live in. As for me I’ll stick to living the dream.

Just the rambling of an old infantry dude.